Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children

Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children Thomas Gordon
  • Title: Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children
  • Author: Thomas Gordon
  • ISBN: 9780609806937
  • Page: 289
  • Format: Paperback
  • Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children Thomas Gordon Parent Effectiveness Training The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children P E T or Parent Effectiveness Training began almost forty years ago as the first national parent training program to teach parents how to communicate effectively with kids and offer step by step advi
    P.E.T or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent training program to teach parents how to communicate effectively with kids and offer step by step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world and it willP.E.T or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent training program to teach parents how to communicate effectively with kids and offer step by step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world and it will work for you Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you How to avoid being a permissive parentHow to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you How to teach your children to own their problems and to solve themHow to use the No Lose method to resolve conflictsUsing the timeless methods of P.E.T will have immediate results less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you ll find P.E.T a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.
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    About Thomas Gordon


    1. Dr Thomas Gordon was an American clinical psychologist, student and later colleague of Carl Rogers He was mainly known for his Gordon Method, primarily a method to improve relationships between parents and children that was later developed into a general communication method to improve all relationships.Dr Gordon spent than 50 years teaching parents, teachers and leaders the model he developed for building effective relationships His model was based on a strong belief that the use of coercive power damages relationships As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to build and maintain good relationships at home, school and at work These skills, which include Active Listening, I Messages and No Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world He first applied some of these methods in the 1950s as a consultant to business organizations Then, in the early 60s, he developed the Parent Effectiveness Training course commonly known as P.E.T and taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a Pasadena, CA cafeteria The courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the U.S to teach it in their communities Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states.In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999 In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards Gordon Training International, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work.


    785 Comments


    1. Excellent book with many practical examples Three main techniques Active ListeningWhen a child presents a problem concern expresses something at all, echo back to them what you hear they are FEELING not just parrot back what they say , no judgement, evaluation, lecture, etc Just LISTEN and echo back what they say, allowing them to own the problem and come to their own solution Do not worry if in one listening session a problem is not reached it is not your problem to solve.I Messages I feel ____ [...]

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    2. I m not sure about this one I think the main methods outlined Active Listening, using I messages,and finding solutions together with your children instead of imposing them from above, are good in theory, and I ve been using all three However, the author never really addresses the two issues I grapple with most often 1 the moment by moment corrections of things that aren t a huge deal,but are important please don t drag that furniture across the floor, could you do that in the potty instead, etc [...]

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    3. Although this is a book about parenting, I recommend it to you if you re interested in improving your relationships with everyone The premise of the book is that some parents use their power to control their children, while other parents, in order to be liked by their kids or to keep the peace, allow their children to do whatever they want at the expense of their own needs The author details these scenarios and then offers a third possibility, one in which situations are resolved in ways that me [...]

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    4. Absolutely the best parenting book I ve read It s already had the biggest impact on our lives of any parenting book I ve read And it seems to be the book that all my favorites were based on Are you a fan of Playful Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Siblings Without Rivalry, or Raising our Children Raising Ourselves You ll love this book Actually if you want to learn specific techniques for parenting and are open to why the traditional model isn t working, you ll love this book Actually even if [...]

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    5. Read this book many years ago and was thinking of it today One of the best books I have ever read and as another reviewer said it is life changing This book is not really just for parenting, it is for anyone who interacts with other human beings on a regular basis and wants to improve communication in their relationships I was deeply saddened when Dr Gordon passed away Now here s someone that really deserved a nobel peace prize Dr Thomas Gordon March 11, 1918 August 26, 2002 was an American clin [...]

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    6. I had touted Love and Logic parenting for a long time but then I realized I couldn t implement it effectively, lovingly and in a way where I felt I was being respectful of my children as individuals I always felt like I was manipulating circumstances and making up natural consequences to make a point I also didn t like it when they were old enough to turn it around on me or attempt it incorrectly on each other e.g Hey, sis, do you want to play with me or do you want me to throw my shoe at you I [...]

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    7. I found active listening, I messages, and no lose conflict resolution to be very useful concepts and I think I ll get a lot from this book on that front, but I felt like the book itself was about twice or as long as it needed to be, very repetitive, and veryI don t know, borderline infomercialish in terms of the way Gordon promoted his perspective So it was a bit of a slog on that level And all of the proclamation about the tendencies today s youths just made me roll my eyes, because it s the k [...]

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    8. This book has one very important idea that really works Once you get the concept, it seems like the author drones on and on about it TLDR this could be a three chapter book I highly recommend reading the first couple of chapters and skimming until you find parts you want to read The examples throughout are very worthy.The P.E.T technique has really revolutionized the relationship between me and my child Warning, the intro makes it sound like this book promote permissive parenting Don t be put of [...]

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    9. I am not a parent myself but this was an excellent book, that made me improve my communication not only with children but with any other human beeing.There are three things that are really well explained 1 reacting to conflict and to child s problem by active listening2 reacting to conflict and misbehavior with I feel statement 3 cooperative conflict solutionIt is such a good book that I summarized it here docs.google document d 1E

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    10. Apare un citat din Profetul lui Gibran Trateaz cu respect copilul, ascult , nu folosi for a i autoritatea, spune ce sim i onest, discut f r s jigne ti, s predici, s judeci, s critici, s lauzi, s psihanalizezi, las l s g seasc singur solu ii la problemele lui, caut solu ii mpreun c nd e un conflict Puterea corupe.

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    11. I wish again that I could give half stars to my reviews.This book is very out of date I think that there may be a revised edition, but it wasn t available at my library Using a public phone booth stopped costing a dime before I was born, for example The outdated examples made it difficult to pay attention to the content, because I was too busy rolling my eyes at the book.The basic principles are sound Active listening and being empathetic with your child are very good tools to connect with your [...]

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    12. This was a life changing book for me I read it in conjunction with a class on Parent Effectiveness Training that I took through Luke s elementary school The course and instructor were excellent I wish everyone who read the book could have had the same class that I did However, by just reading the book I think it s possible to improve your relationship with your children and help them to grow up to be the thinking, responsible people that you want them to be And the relationship concepts Dr Gordo [...]

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    13. This book isn t just for helping communication between you and your children, this book also helped me communicate and compromise better with my husband, stopped a lot of arguments in their tracks Can t speak highly enough of it.

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    14. I can highly recommend this book for anyone with kids it gives a third way instead of the authoritarian or permissive parenting takes the win lose feeling out of parenting Already I feel and see a difference in my parenting and behavior of my son and resolving interactions with other kids

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    15. I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anybody in my real life social circle Because every true thing it says and every good piece of advice is packaged in a way that would make it unpalatable for pretty much everybody I know I not only agree with the vast majority of what PET teaches, but I also already do most of what PET teaches, and even I hated the tone I rolled my eyes so hard it s a wonder I didn t sprain something.So, no, I do not recommend this book If you re going to read o [...]

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    16. Has some really useful information about the communication methods you can use with your child and few practical tips you can follow I would consider this book useful for parenting older children where verbal communication is already established Though it also has some tips for toddlers and younger children Content is mostly experiential but it also gives some references to studies Considering it has been written almost 40 years ago it is quite a good parenting book Due to publishing year it is [...]

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    17. I ve read quite a few books about the upbringing of children written by acknowledged domestic or international specialists in this scientific field and I say this is the bible of parenting It talks about a theory and practice of parenting that, in the end, looks so right and sensible that makes you think why couldn t you see it before Well, most of us are largely influenced by the parenting of our parents and first of all we have to get rid of the prejudices and stereotypes of the past in order [...]

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    18. good follow up to how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk though I do feel like some of the examples were a bit convoluted then how to talk , sometimes even bordering on total overkill That being said PET is a fantastic companion book for people who need a little help with effective communication Broken down into its most basic form expanding bank of acceptable behaviors identifying problem ownership focusing on active listening and I statements defines steps to find mutu [...]

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    19. Being a fresh father, i bought this book One of my friends needed help with his teenage boy and i gave him the book Before i read this book he read and said it was very helpful and felt he was a little late to read After that i started to read it I sort of knew what not to do this book helped me about some methods and what to do I don t want to be too optimistic because it is no magic book, but i can say it might solve some problems Won t hurt if you read

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    20. I very much liked the basic principles presented by the book but was frustrated by the number of references to the PET training courses That space could have been better filled with examples of putting the new techniques into practice While I will definitely implement the general ideas, the book itself left me feeling like I d watched an extended infomercial.

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    21. ok ba ar l bir kitap ger ekten Hemen hepsi farkl kitaplarda da okudu um eyler asl nda, etkili dinleme, ocukla konu urken ben dili ile duygular iletmek, at malar kazan kazan y ntemi ile zmek, baz konularda kendimizi de i tirmeyi ba armak vs hepsi tan d k ama kitap ak , anlat m , dili ve rnekleri ile konuyla ilgili az z okuyaca m ne okusam diyenlere nerebilece im bir kitap oldu.

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    22. I m convinced Method III is my preferred parenting style It s the same as propsed in How to Talk so Kids will Listen , Kids are Worth It , and Children are People Too Resonates strongly with me I found the appendix at the end with specific examples of types of communication and problem solving to be helpful.

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    23. olduk a i levsel bilgiler veren ahane bir e itim kitab oldu unu d n yorum kendi al malar mda kullan p bibliyografi olarak da al t m anne babalara okutmu lu um var Aland ebeveynler de alandaki meslekta lar m da keyifle okuyabilir

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    24. Crucial for parents, educators, and anybody who works with children of all ages.

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    25. Cartea a reusit sa depaseasca toate limitele tolerantei mele Da, inca o carte care m a scos din sarite, de data aceasta insa, de pe un alt palier.1 Autorul prezinta toate banalitatile pe care le stie oricine in straie atat de colorate, incat ai putea crede ca el a inventat pana si regula de a stinge becul inainte de culcare Da, domnule Gordon, stim ca un copil are nevoie si de jucarii pentru a se juca Daca vrea sa se joace cu o revista pe care vrei sa o pastrezi, da i una pe care nu vrei sa o pa [...]

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    26. n P rintele eficient, Thomas Gordon, un psiholog american de renume, ncearc s combat comportamentul autoritarist al p rin ilor n rela ie cu copiii i s propun modele de comunicare i de rezolvare a conflictelor care s nu i frustreze nici pe unii, nici pe al ii.Nu este un adept al unui model de parentaj total permisiv Spune c ced nd totul i mereu n fa a cerin elor copilului, o s cre ti o persoan care va tr i mereu cu certitudinea c i se cuvine totul, oric nd i necondi ionat, o persoan centrat pe pr [...]

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    27. Of the parenting books out there, I should have read this amazing P.E.T book first because it provides the backbone for parenting to which anyone could easily attach the other books Adele Faber, Dr Haim G Ginott, Piaget and Alfie Kohn that I had already read PET works with today s teens by leveling the teen parent field, removing any armor and creating a mutual respect and awareness from which both parties win And it s compatible with Faber, Ginott, Piaget, and Kohn, so let s go Three conflict r [...]

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    28. Beaucoup de choses int ressantes, mais aussi d autres culpabilisantes ou qui semblent peu r alisables Comme tous les bons bouquins sur l ducation je trouve

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